Published on November 29th, 2011 | by Paz4
The Itch….to be more
Yes, I said it I have an Itch. I might say I have had it for almost 4 years, but in all honesty probably more like 6 or 7. The Itch to grow, to improve, to strive.
It is a feeling I get and I can almost feel it right above where I think my lungs are, but right under my heart, at my core. I am probably totally wrong about the anatomy part. But that is where I feel it. If I could Itch it I would, because it bothers me. It is a nagging sort of pain that I wish I could rub something on it and make it go away.
Except…it is what also makes me feel alive. It is what makes me get up in the morning and it is what made me move to China. So I guess I am glad that there isn’t some awful smelling cream I can rub on it.
There were things in life that made it easier for me to ignore my Itch; there was college, there was the idea that I would never have enough money, there was the idea that I needed the perfect credit score FIRST, there was trying to be someone other people would like more, there was the idea that we needed a bigger car, and then my favorite….there was the idea that I needed to make the most amount of money possible.
All of these rants that I have gone through in the last 6 or 7 years I am happy for. I am happy that I experienced them and had a great support system through them.
I will say that much has changed in me and in my family in the last 8 months. Moving and living in China will do that. We will never be the same again…or at least I hope not. Not because I dislike who we were, but to go backwards would mean that we learned nothing from our experience and that would truly be unfortunate. The idea of NOT continuing to learn and grow as people,(not in income) is my only fear now.
My Itch...it is back!!
It has been back for about 3 months and I have to say that Zeek has been sharing it too this time. Mine is more vocal, just because I am vocal or at least I think that is why?! Who knows.
We have been on a quest to improve! To be more productive and more relaxed all at the same time. This might seem like an oxymoron, but it isn’t. We are on a quest to get more done in a shorter amount of time and have more time to give to our kids and our community (where ever that is).
My Itch….my destiny!
My Itch has actually hurt lately, so much that is causes me much frustration and anxiety. I feel like I am playing Zelda…(old school Nintendo) and I am about to get my last needed coins but I just can’t quite reach them.
What am I doing about it?
I have been meditating a lot…well a lot for me is like 5 minutes a day. That’s a lot for me!! Letting go of my ego and trying to hear what the hell my Itch is trying to tell me.
Did it work?
Yes!! I have cured my Itch for now. I can’t tell you what it is. Yes, I am the world’s biggest tease. I know! I hope to be releasing more information in the next 6 months. It will most likely take me 1.5 years to complete my project and I have to still work and be an active/loving mother and wife. (Zeek wanted all of that in writing.) So that is my time-frame.
Is that if you have an Itch or a yearning spend some time thinking about that! Dont’ think about money, image, society, or right and wrong. Focus on your itch. Don’t think about it, focus on it, put it out into the universe and trust me you will get something back. If you decide to follow that or watch another Simpsons episode, well that is up to you. You can’t blame that on anyone but yourself.
Will my Itch be gone?
In 1.5 years when I finish my project will my Itch be gone? I hope not. Will there be other Itch along the way? I hope so. As much as I dislike my Itches at times they are my driving force. They are what make me want to strive for more, for my destiny, to live life, and hopefully inspire our children to do the same.
Will it be easy?
Hell NO! If you think following your Itch will be easy, please go back to your regular scheduled program of the Simpsons, you aren’t ready for this. I know it won’t be easy and I know it won’t always be fun. But I know that I would rather live my life than watching Bart Simpson live his. I actually think he isn’t real folks! Sorry to pop your bubble.
What is your Itch? Have you Itched it lately?